Okay, my view of courtship...
First, some definitions:
A) Dating-- something not found in the Bible
B) Courtship-- something not found in the Bible.
Hmm... that didn't really get us anywhere. ;]
Uh... let's see, how about a chart?
All that said...
I see dangers in Dating that go beyond the obvious, "ya might get hurt if you go out with a rotten dude." The first is the fact that its goal is not marriage. This is reflected in the fact that immature teens who won't be ready for marriage for years date constantly. If the goal was marriage, only those ready and prepared for marriage would even consider such a step.
It isn't even considered "taking such a step," actually. This is because of the fact that it is not a formally expressed commitment that should lead to a life-long commitment. This is a crucial part, I think. Without the commitment, it's a "here today, gone tomorrow" attitude that holds people's hearts and a close relationship cheap and disposable... not with honor as marriage should be held. This becomes very detrimental as a pattern and way of thinking is established. Take a girl, for example. She dates guy A, then breaks up and dates guy B, breaks up and dates guy C (remember the commitment issue)... on and on. She sets a pattern for her life: relationships of that category being disposable and relatively short-term, and when you get mad, bored, disillusioned, attracted to someone else, etc. you just go with it and break up... or divorce as it's known when you're married. See the problem there?
Another danger is getting emotionally attached and not being able to see or think clearly. I think this is huge. With dating you get attached to someone, break it up, get emotionally attached, break it up, etc. This is not good for a person's heart and it is not good for their ideas of how to treat others. In short it's defrauding. Here's another thought on that one: what kind of treasure will you have for your husband when you finally settle on one, if your heart has been so lacerated and has gotten a little distant and jaded out of self-preservation? And yet another that bugs me: what about the principle of adultery? Okay, follow me now... "You shall not commit adultery." "But I [Jesus] tell you that he who looks lustfully at a woman has already commited adultery with her in his heart." (that's Perry-phrased) So if Jesus shows us the true meaning of that command, it really raises the standard. Now, what is a woman's temptation? Romance, right? She has to deal with her thought life too, huh!?! Within 15 seconds of meeting a nice guy she's imagined him proposing, she's trying on his last name for size, figuring out how their kids would looks...! Hmmm... so here's the little-kid friendly definition for answering "Daddy, what's 'ad--adul--adultery' mean?" Adultery is basically pretending like you're married to someone that you're not married to. And-- yikes-- there's no qualifier on that saying it's only when you're married that this applies! I'm saying it applies before marriage too. Sure, you’re not a super naughty girl who is gonna do super naughty things, but what about your heart, your thoughts, your words...? The point is: you are someone's wife... you just don't know whose yet. Like I said... this one bugs me. :]
The other thing about being able to see or think clearly... I have a friend who is pretty nervous about the whole 'figuring out who you're going to marry' thing. She correctly realizes what a serious step it is to commit yourself unswervingly for life. You have to be sure! I think she's absolutely right. But what I tried to point out to her was that she didn't need to be scared of it. I know, she knows, and maybe you too know, that when you've met said Nice Guy, it's a little bit like being "twitterpated" to quote the owl in Bambi. (Don't get me wrong, I don't believe people are like animals with instincts they can't control!) But remember the scenes with the puffy white and pink cloudy haze, the rose petals slowly floating down...?? I tell you, that haze is enough to severely veil very important information about said Nice Guy. It's happened. Really. Said Nice Guy turns out to have some not-so-very Nice Deficiencies or even vices. This is something a girl could be scared of for sure when considering the prospect of marrying. I mean... how do you know? This is hard when you're a girl looking through a haze. That's why Courtship and I recommend getting parents (who are certainly not 'falling head-over-heels in love' with the guy!) and perhaps brothers, pastors, mentors, etc. to constantly give their objective input. Always pray. Follow the Word and will of God alone... you're safe if you're in His arms, eh?!
Okay. That's all I can think of for now. ;) Let me know what you think...
Love in Christ,
Perry
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;
For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4, NKJV)
